#I could analyze these quotes forever

[thefirstradiant]

I am never not thinking about them (twsuicide)

Dean Winchester:

“There's no such thing as an honorable death. My corpse is gonna rot in the ground and my family is gonna die. No. I’m not going with you, I don’t care what you do.”

And fucking Gregory House:

"There's no such thing. Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're ninety, sometimes before we're even born. But it always happens and there's never any dignity in it. I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass, its always ugly. Always. You can live with dignity, you can't die with it."

Both of these are so early on their respective series as well (house literally the pilot), it’s so fascinating to look back at their words years later.

These are broken men, who have both been depressed and suicidal. Now I can’t speak for everyone’s who’s ever been suicidal, but I know that when I was younger I tried to romanticize it, to soften it, because I admitted to myself that I was suicidal for awhile. Because I knew that, I could try to change my view.

But these two, they don’t do that. They lie to themselves. They want it to be soft and easy. But they’re convinced it’s not because they don’t deserve that for themselves. Honor and dignity go hand in hand for them and they don’t believe they deserve either, so why should they get them in death?

Fascinating to watch them change their minds. Dean with sacrifice as an honor and House with letting Wilson stop fighting at the very end.

[janetbrown711]

I Know It's Over

!!! Sonic Movie 3 Spoilers !!!

After the battle, Sonic, Knuckles and Tails are taken back to London to regroup with Maddie and Tom, all the while guilt is threatening to eat Tails alive.

tw for injuries but nothing too graphic is stated as there is no mention of blood but there is mention of medical equipment and yelping in pain and yeah

Ao3 Link

Tails was a scientist, this was true, but even he couldn’t tell which part of him hurt the most as he laid crashed in a cornfield in the middle of who-knows-where. He felt lightheaded, that much was obvious, but there was also a tingling sensation crawling through every fibre of his skin that made him honestly want to shrivel up forever (or at least just for a nap). Not to mention, there was something happening that made it harder for him to breathe– like a bruised rib or something. It was hard to analyze when every part of him was this level of ouch.

It took a minute to realize he was laying on someone– that someone being Knuckles– who had his arms wrapped around him and Sonic. He couldn’t help but feel bad for him– that he had to burn up to make up for Tails’ failures, instead of staying to help finish the problem with the Eclip–

Holy cow.

“Sonic, look!” Tails instantly urged, needing someone else to confirm what he was seeing too.

Tails had never seen something so beautiful yet tragic in the earth’s night sky. The remains of the canon now looked like the beginning of a whole new galaxy– or maybe a star was a better comparison. Either way, he was actually relieved Knuckles got out of there before any of that happened…

Then again, not everyone got out.

“Shadow and Robotnik… they sacrificed themselves to save everyone,” he put together, even though it made his head spin worse, and a weight he hadn’t noticed pressed harder on his chest.

“‘You always have a choice,’” Sonic quoted, a distant look in his eyes, before he suddenly shook it off. “Guys, I’m– I’m sorry for running away like that, I shouldn’t have left you behind…”

Tails almost wanted to laugh, wanting to point out he basically left Knuckles behind too, to become a part of… of that…

He didn’t, though (though the weight pressed harder).

“...Can you two ever forgive me?” Sonic asked, bleary eyed.

Tails didn’t blame or think less of him, of course. He just about wanted to cry too, from sheer exhaustion if nothing else.

Knuckles found a way to smile though, which was saying something. “Of course. We are ‘Team Sonic’, after all.” He punched Sonic lightly, which still made the hedgehog wince, before Sonic pulled the warrior in for a hug Tails was quick to join.

“I think just ‘Team’ works,” Sonic eventually said with a teary laugh that got Tails laughing too, but for not too long due to the burning and aching and ow.

Despite it feeling good to be wrapped up safe in arms that cared for him, Tails was relieved when it broke, since he didn’t really think he could stand the ache much longer. He sunk back to the ground with a wince as he painfully tried peeling off his backpack.

Knuckles noticed his struggle and took the bag off for him, handing it over without a word.

“Thanks.” Tails smiled weakly, quickly making note of all the scorched fur and burnt quills on him, before finding his Miles Electric. “I’m gonna send Tom and Maddie our coordinates so we can get out of here.”

He could feel Knuckles and Sonic looking at him after he said that though, and it took him embarrassingly long to realize he said–

Sonic was the one to speak up. “Tails, Tom is–”

“I-I know, I know, I know.” Tails bit his tongue since his screen turned on (he thanked his past self for making his Electric able to withstand heats up to 4,000 degrees Kelvin). “I just– I’m sending them, so just… it won’t be long.”

He could still feel the eyes on him, but he just focused on getting those coordinates as fast as possible so they could go back to London and see if Tom was–

…If he...

It was Tails’ technology that got him hurt. He heard Shadow’s voice over the mic. He heard Shadow say he did what he had to before he disappeared. But he also knew Shadow wouldn’t just attack someone innocent like Tom– it was Tails’ fault– it was his plan, it was his tech, it was his–

“...ails? Tails, buddy, are you–?” Sonic tried to put a hand on his shoulder, but he shrunk away.

“I’m busy right now, okay?” Tails’ voice cracked. “I-... I’ll try to do medical evaluations later.”

“That’s not what I’m asking about.” Sonic crossed his arms– though it made him cringe in pain.

“Well, it should be! You’re seriously hurt! I-I mean– coming out of Super Sonic like that? And then falling that far? Half of your quills are burnt black, for crying out loud,” Tails pointed out. “I’ll see if there’s anything I can do in a minute.” He went back to the coordinate searching– though of course the connection was still being wonky.

“Fox…” Knuckles seemed to decide it was his turn to argue now.

“You’re one to talk too– you’re burnt pretty bad as well! I mean– you basically took all three of our crash impacts. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a concussion o-or even radiation exposure effects due to staying at the Eclipse Canon for so long,” Tails pushed back, the weight pressing harder and making his heart pound as the map finally loaded.

Knuckles didn’t seem amused. “Fox, what are you–” “I’m just trying to get us back to London as soon as possible, okay? Will you let me do that now? Please?” Tails snapped slightly, clearly startling Sonic (though Knuckles was characteristically unphased).

The echidna stared at Tails for a moment, before nodding. “To your task.”

Tails bit his cheek, but brought his focus back to his Electric, which finally loaded their coordinates. Now, it was just as simple as a swipe and a tap and they were that much closer to home.

Home…

Tails had lived with Tom and Maddie for quite some time now, but he still couldn’t help the odd feeling he got when thinking of their house as home. After all, his past two homes weren’t exactly up to code, especially when in comparison to the Wachowski house. He wasn’t used to having a pet, or friends, or adults that liked him and genuinely wanted him around and brushed his fur and tucked him in at night, and–

And who he got hurt. Badly hurt.

“Okay, the coordinates are sent.” Tails forced himself away from his thoughts. Knuckles nodded, while Sonic only looked moderately relieved, and was quick to start pacing around.

Tails and Knuckles let him, the former working on doing some bug testing on the electric, and the latter doing some kind of warrior yoga meditation thing. The silence couldn't last forever though, as after maybe two minutes, Sonic spoke up.

“You know– if you guys wanted, I could go run around, get a good look of the place, and look for an airpl–”

“No,” both of them said at the same time.

“Hey! I’d be right back, I swear,” Sonic tried defending himself.

“Sonic, you’re barely able to even walk around like that; running will only make your injuries worse,” Tails tried to explain, but it was clear Sonic’s impatience remained.

“I feel fine,” he clearly lied, still having a shortness to his breath and a slight limp on his right side. “I just– I want to get to London as soon as possible.”

“I-I know, I know– but the connection on my electric got through so I’m sure Maddie already sent them to GUN,” Tails tried to comfort, but Sonic growled at the mention of the organization.

“Y’know, I think I’d rather take my chances with you piloting a random airplane.” He looked away bitterly.

“We are not going to steal from the local people, it would be dishonorable.” Knuckles put his foot down, making Sonic grumble more, but at least he didn’t argue.

Tails couldn’t blame Sonic for his impatience, he was itching to get back to London too. He was just too weak for pacing or flying right now. To be honest, he really just wanted to curl onto a ball, hide under the covers, and wait for this all to pass like a bad thunderstorm.

Tails was startled when he felt an arm wrap around him– even more surprised it was Knuckles’. Tails looked up, trying to see if he could get a good read of him, but he was stoic as ever. He was hurt, no doubt by the burns he sported too, but he never did let it show (except when fighting Shadow). It would be a lot harder to give him a medical evaluation, but Tails could guess his left hand was still bad from when Shadow twisted it. He was also showing signs of a minor concussion, looking a little more dazed and dizzy than usual. Of course, there wasn't anything Tails could really do about that until they got to the hospital, and even then Maddie would want to be in charge, since she was a vet and all.

“Take it easy, okay Knuckles? I can bandage some of your burns and your hand once we’re on our way out,” Tails advised, getting nothing but a short nod in response.

Things were quick to go quiet again, except for the sound of Sonic pacing and the occasional breeze stirring the corn, until the sounds of the GUN helicopter broke through. While Tails was relieved, he could tell his teammates were having… conflicted feelings, to say the least. Especially Sonic, who always wore his emotions on his sleeve.

Still, they all got up and followed the soldiers’ orders to take their seats and wait for the hour and a half flight from Aquitaine, France (so that's that's where they were) to London. Of course, that only lasted until lift off, as shortly after Sonic began to pace again.

Thankfully, the soldiers let Tails use their first aid kit and so he began by wrapping up Knuckles’ arm.

The trained warrior didn't complain a bit, even when Tails had to straighten it out in a way he knew had to be uncomfortable for the splint. Tails could admire that; the ability to tough things out, to not complain when doing the right thing gets him hurt, to not mention how Tails left Knuckles behind without so much as a second thought. He appreciated Knuckles allowing him to still do what he was good at before... well, before–

“I can't take this anymore– how much longer is it gonna be?” Sonic complained loudly to the pilot, which got a silent glare from one of the soldiers.

“Sit down, hedgehog,” she ordered, and he rolled his eyes.

“You must be fun at parties,” he muttered, going back to Knuckles and Tails to continue his pacing again.

Tails took pity on him. “Considering it’s been no more than ten minutes since we left, I’d say we still have an hour and twenty minutes.” He finished tying off Knuckles’ bandage. “You’re up next, if you’re ready.”

Sonic sighed and slumped himself in the seat opposite to Tails. “Y’know, if I had known we were in France, I would’ve just run,” he grunted.

Tails sighed, looking for the aloe vera. “Sonic, you know–”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Sonic crossed his arms with a wince again and began tapping his foot. “I would’ve found a way to bring you two along.”

Tails couldn’t help but smile a little as he shook his head. “I appreciate it, Sonic, but I think Tom and Maddie would appreciate it if you didn’t get yourself killed just so you can see if–... if…” Tails couldn’t finish the sentence, the weight on his chest threatening to cave in. Again, he felt Knuckles place a hand on his shoulder, which was half comforting, half guilt-inducing.

“The Lord of Donuts will be alright, Fox. We must be patient until then,” he spoke calmly, but, again, Tails just couldn’t quite feel settled.

“Y-yeah, I know.” Tails finally found the bottle and squeezed out a glob before rubbing it on a burnt spot on Sonic’s arm, making his teammate cringe.

“Yeesh, are you trying to kill me here?” Sonic complained half-heartedly.

“Your adrenaline is running out.” Tails waved off. “You’re going to be in a world of pain soon, and you’ll be thanking me for doing at least some of this ahead of time.”

Sonic waved him off with his free arm. “You and your science.”

“Never fails,” Tails teased, before remembering all over again how it was his tech that got Tom hurt and– and Maddie was disappointed in him– saw him as a failure and if anything really bad happened he’d probably end up getting kicked out and on his own again– which really, really, really sucked because he really liked Tom and Maddie and he hadn’t wanted to fail them, but–

“Tails– Tails, what’s the matter? Why do you keep doing that? What’s going on, man?” Sonic asked, placing a hand on his other shoulder.

Tails shook his head and desperately forced back any tears that were threatening to form. “I’m sorry, I just– it’s–... I-I…” He looked down at his hands and at the bottle of aloe. “I need to make sure you two are okay.”

Sonic gave a pitiful smile. “I’m okay, bud.”

Tails scoffed, rubbing the bottle with his finger. “You’re probably not gonna wanna run for the next week or two with all the damage you’ve done– plus you’re all burnt a-and–”

“Yeah, but I’m also alive thanks to you two saving my butt,” Sonic punched the fox’s arm lightly, which made Knuckles chuckle quietly.

Tails couldn’t help but laugh a little too. “Y-yeah, that is true– though it’s all on Knuckles, really, since when I tried I couldn’t throw the ring and I passed out from all the wind and pressure and heat, unlike him, who was totally cool with it,” he confessed, pouring more aloe to rub on Sonic’s shoulder.

“Your bravery was most noteworthy, Fox. You made a valiant effort to protect your teammate and this planet from harm. You should be proud of what you have accomplished,” Knuckles spoke up, and Tails could feel the stern look he was giving on the back of his neck.

“Thanks, Knuckles.” Tails didn’t so much as glance his way, noting silently that among his accomplishments was getting Tom hurt. However, he just kept on working, ignoring the look Sonic was also giving him as well.

After another wince in pain, Sonic sighed. “I’m nervous too, bud… but we’ll– we’ll figure something out, I’m sure.”

Tails couldn’t speak, swallowing a lump in his throat with a silent nod. He really didn’t have time for crying or for pity right now, he had to help his friends, he had to prove he could still do good before he lost the only home he’d ever known.

And thankfully, Sonic let him, allowing him to apply more aloe before bandaging some areas up and even wrapping his ankles (which Sonic insisted he didn’t need, despite actively whining when he wrapped his right foot).

By the time he was done, it seemed Tails’ own adrenaline was rapidly running out. When he tried to inspect himself for injuries or burns, he barely managed to apply a band-aid before he started to actively nod off. He tried to fight as best he could, apply aloe here and there. However, his tails and tailbones were what hurt the most, but there wasn’t anything he could really do until he got to Maddie, so the best thing he could do right now was rest up.

Not that she would probably want to help Tails. She’d probably not even want him in the room. No, she’d tell him to pack his things and go, to stop embarrassing her family and say he ‘caused them enough trouble,’ before kicking him out in the rain. Not that it was raining right now but– but that’s how these things went.

At least this time Tails could be prepared.

With that thought in mind, Tails curled up in his chair, next to his compatriots, before being dragged down into a heavy sleep.

.o0o.

“Ahhh, home sweet home,” Sonic grinned, setting down his suitcase and immediately doing a lap around the place, which made Tails laugh. “Definitely better than being at that hotel for two weeks. Although, I still don’t agree with the new living room paint.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not in charge here, are you?” Maddie teased, bringing in her suitcase plus a large bag full of papers and bills and all sorts of adult human earth stuff.

“There are many reasons the hedgehog should not be in charge, Pretzel Woman; his arrogance, his temperament, his–”

“Alright, Knuckles, that’s enough,” Tom warned casually, bringing in Ozzie and his two duffle bags.

“Very well, Lord of Donuts. As leader of this clan, I trust your judgement.” Knuckles put a hand on his chest.

“Rrright… Well, it’s only 4pm, so… Sonic, how’s about you pick out a movie to show the new guys while me and Maddie get some things settled and order pizza?” Tom suggested, setting his bags down on a table.

“Oo! Yes! Knuckles, I got some action movies I know you’ll love– there’s one where this adventure guy is fighting these Nazis, right? And there’s this temple with cultists and–”

“Hey, let’s try to make it a movie everyone can enjoy?” Maddie interrupted, noticing Tails holding one of his namesakes tight.

“H-hey! I can handle violence! Especially if it teaches me about ancient earth culture,” Tails protested.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t exactly call Temple of Doom ‘educational’,” Tom chuckled, unleashing Ozzie, who immediately started following Knuckles.

“Oh please, Tails is a pro! He can totally handle all the fighting and violence.” Sonic wrapped an arm around Tails’ shoulder, making him smile.

Tom didn’t seem swayed in the slightest, though. “I seem to recall the last time we watched it, a certain hedgehog needed to sleep in our bed for a week because he was scared of his heart getting ripped out.”

“Wha–? I–? I would never!” Sonic protest, before he huffed. “Okay, fine, I’ll think of something else.”

Knuckles shook his head. “I disagree. I think we should watch this ‘moo-vie’, as I find the premise rather intriguing– although I have one question for you, Hedgehog,” Knuckles turned to him. “What exactly is a na–”

“Hey! Knuckles, let’s leave human questions for tomorrow, okay bud? Just go hang out on the couch for now,” Tom interrupted with a sudden burst of energy, exchanging a look with Maddie. “Besides, Sonic is going to choose a movie everyone can enjoy, right?”

“Right, right, yeah,” Sonic waved off, ego still bruised.

“Good.” Maddie scratched him behind his ears, which perked him up. “We’ll just be in our room if you need us, but it shouldn’t be too long.”

“You got it.” Sonic saluted, making the woman laugh again and kiss his forehead before taking her bags and paperwork away.

“Make good choices.” Tom gave a friendly wink before he too disappeared.

“Alright, well gang, we have some choices to make.” Sonic clapped his hands before he sped off to the living room, Knuckles and Tails quick to follow. “We could watch Star Wars, since if we stick to the main trilogy it’s pretty tame– or we could watch some Planet Earth documentaries if you guys want a crash course on that kind of thing– or! Oo! Tails, I know you’ll love Yu-Gi-Oh, we should do that!”

“Oh-! I’m cool with whatever you guys want, really, you don’t have to go out of your way or anything.” Tails took a step back.

“Does this ‘Yu-Gi-Oh’ also have fighting and violence?” Knuckles asked, taking his seat next to Sonic on the couch.

“Fighting, yes. Violence, not really. It’s cool though, you’ll like it too.” Sonic grinned before he found the remote and turned on the TV.

“Ah–! Sorcery!” Knuckles jumped up, before shaking his fear off. “Not that it matters! No magic is strong enough to take down an echidna warrior!” He pointed his fists to the television.

“Woah there, dude! Mom and Dad do not need you destroying another TV, chill out.” Sonic quickly tried to put his arms down.

While Sonic and Knuckles started arguing about the nature of the television, Tails sat on the ground close to the kitchen, and dug out his Miles Electric to try and do some more repairs. Of course, Tails had tinkered a lot with his electric while at the hotel, but the right-hand button still wasn’t responding as it should have. He was lucky he had barely needed it these past two weeks, otherwise it would’ve frustrated him a lot more. But now that Sonic was back home, Tails knew it was just a matter of time, and so got back to work, the sound of arguing making solid background noise.

Tails had managed to remove the casing on his electric, unscrew any and all coverings, and was part way through testing and cleaning parts of the motherboard when there was someone standing over him.

“Hey kiddo, what’re you doing over here all by yourself? You can barely even see the TV,” Tom pointed out, kneeling down to get a look– though Tails quickly tried to cover it with his hands.

“S-sorry! I know I should be enjoying the movie, it’s just that I–”

“Woah, hey, it’s cool, you’re not in trouble,” Tom assured. “I just wanna know what you’re working on, if that’s alright.”

Tails tilted his head. “But… why?”

Tom chuckled, fully taking his seat on the ground. “Because it’s not every day I meet a genius tech whiz kid with a bag full of cool and dangerous tech.”

“O-oh! Right, yeah.” Tails couldn’t help but blush. “It’s nothing special, really, I’m just fixing up my Miles Electric.”

“‘Miles Electric’, huh? What’s the name for? Is it like a GPS?” Tom asked.

“It is! But it does a lot more, usually. And it’s named after– a-after me, actually.” Tails looked down at the device.

Tom sat up straighter. “So your birth name is Miles?”

“Miles Prower, yes.” Tails picked at the carpet.

Tom chuckled. “I like it. Suits you.” “Y-yeah, but I prefer Tails, since that's what everyone calls me,” he explained, tracing the AGP slot with his finger anxiously.

“Whatever makes you more comfortable, Tails.” Tom smiled softly, making the fox blush again.

“Thank you, Mr. Wachowski.”

“You can call me Tom if you want, I don’t mind,” he offered.

“R-right! Well– um– the Miles Electric is sorta like how phones work for you guys, except mine has its own radio wave emissions that don’t rely on satellites for things like tracking and measuring chaos energy levels,” Tails explained, taking out a small magnifying glass to examine the CPU more closely.

“Wow, that sounds fancy. You made it yourself from scratch?” Tom asked.

Tails nodded. “I had a whole lab back on our home planet where I made all of my gadgets and gizmos– though I left most of them behind when I found out Knuckles was on his way.”

“Oh? What other stuff do you have over there?”

“Oh, lots of things.” Tails set down the magnifying glass. “Televisions, laser pistols, smoke bombs, hoverboards, cameras, wire traps, a jetpack, and some prototypes for my own airplane.” Tails couldn’t help but smile. “Man, I know I totally shouldn’t have done it, but flying that airplane was exhilarating– I’d give just about anything to do it again.”

“Ahh, so we got a pilot on our hands, hm?” Tom smiled too.

“Y-yeah! Though before now it’s been mostly simulations and readings and whatnot, so you know.” Tails shrugged off.

“That’s still super impressive, kiddo. Not everyone can take skills from video games and apply them to real life– otherwise I think Sonic would be a much better driver,” he joked.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Tails giggled. “It helps that I’ve been passionate about flying planes for as long as I can remember.” He picked up his magnifying glass again.

“Really? I wouldn’t have guessed since you can already fly,” Tom pointed out.

“Yeah, but flying a plane has far more endurance, you know? Like– if I owned a plane I could really go somewh– dang it, I need to reball this,” Tails muttered, frustrated to find the CPU's connection had a slight fracture he hadn’t noticed before.

“Distance is the goal, hm?” Tom focused on. “I get that. I used to dream of flying off to San Francisco to be a big city cop.”

“Until Sonic came around, right?” Tails recalled, giving up on fixing the CPU and checking if other parts were in need of cleaning.

Tom nodded. “Yep. He made me realize I had everything I could ever ask for right here.”

Tails hummed. “Sounds nice.”

“It is,” Tom agreed. “But we were talking about airplanes, right? Did you say you had plans to build one of your own?”

“Oh, yeah,” he chuckled, finding a smidge of dirt on the digital signal processor he wiped clean. “I even made a few models and mini prototypes that fly pretty well. I’ve never really had the materials to make a life sized one, though, so until now it was more of a distant dream.”

“That’s really cool, kid.” Tom nudged him playfully. “Now, what would you say is the hardest part in building a plane?”

Tails snorted. “Obviously, the alignment.”

“Obviously.” Tom acted like he knew that too, which made the fox giggle.

“Everything has to be in its exact place at the exact measurements– especially in the wings and fuselage, otherwise the plane will be lopsided and then it can’t even get off the ground!” he explained. “Of course, there’s also hydraulics and making everything fit into a small and sleek frame, but I think I’ve already mastered that skill from working on my jetpack and hoverboard. Though– of course, I’ll have to make sure whatever seats I make, they can fit a person comfortably, since I don’t think standing on the wings is the smartest thing to keep doing,” Tails laughed, putting the motherboard back in its place and rescrewing it to the casing.

“Wait, you don’t mean Sonic–” Tom shook his head, “You know what? Don’t tell me. Just make sure nothing like that happens again.”

“I’ll try my best, Mr. Wachowski,” Tails laughed more. “But as I was saying, I’ll also have to decide if I want an ejector seat or not, since I can just fly out if worst comes to worst, and I’d really rather focus on making sure nothing could damage it in the first place– though of course that’s a lot easier said than done since I don’t exactly have Eggman level tech within reach at all times– and even then I managed to blow up quite a bit of it with my laser gun.” He snorted. “I’d also have to decide if I want a radio, just in case I come across another plane or person, though I– I don’t know. Radio technology is easy, of course, but it would take up a lot of space for something I probably won’t even need. Plus, headphones are kind of a pain for us, as opposed to you guys due to having less convenient locations. I also wouldn’t want a glass roof to protect from wind, so I guess a radio actually wouldn’t work at all, which– yeah, I’m fine with that, and– Oh! On the topic of the ejector, I’d have to also figure out the hydraulics there and determine the right amount of pressure and speed that would lead to me being a safe distance away but not so fast that I can’t manage to fly before I hit the ground, which the books I’ve read are not very helpful in helping me calculate, but I’ve never really been one to back down from a challenge like that. After all, it’s just a matter of wind resistance, G-force, acceleration, and my own reaction times– which could certainly use some work based on what happened in Syria.” Tails scratched his neck.

“Ah, I’m sure it’s nothing a little more baseball practice can’t fix, I wouldn’t worry,” Tom assured.

“Thanks.” Tails gave a crooked smile. “But yeah, there’s a lot that goes into it, and I’m just glad I don’t need a parachute, otherwise I’d have to either make a big pocket in my bag with a drawstring and everything, or get a new bag entirely, which will be hard because–” Tails suddenly realized just how much he was talking, and froze. “I– I’m sorry, Mr. Wachowski, you don’t want to hear any of this, you should be watching the movie, I–”

“Woah, hey, it’s all good, Tails, don’t worry.” Tom placed a hand on his shoulder.

Tails looked away. “You don’t have to lie, Mr. Wachowski. I-I know it’s stupid–”

“You talking about airplanes is not ‘stupid’, Tails, it’s super awesome,” Tom insisted, squeezing the fox’s shoulder. “I may not have understood about half of what you said, but I can tell you’re really passionate about this engineering stuff, and I love hearing passionate people talk.”

Tails blinked. “R-really?”

Tom nodded. “Oh, yeah. You talk about airplanes the same way Sonic talks about his comics and John Wick, and you know what? Even though I can’t even tell which character is from which universe or timeline, I could listen to him talk about it all day.”

Tails couldn’t help but smile as his namesakes bounced up and down. “Thanks, Mr. Wachowski. Your hospitality means a lot to me.”

“No problem, kiddo.” Tom smiled back before pulling out his phone while Tails finally pieced his Electric back together.

“You know, Maddie and I have been looking into bed frames for you and Knuckles for the attic. I’m starting to think it would be really cool if we could find an airplane shaped one, especially because it would match Sonic’s car bed. What do you think, though?” Tom showed Tails his screen, which made the kit freeze.

“W...Why are you looking into bed frames for us, Mr. Wachowski?” Tails glanced up.

Tom tilted his head. “I know you two are technically animals, but I know beds are a lot more comfortable than the ground.”

Tails shook his head. “No, that’s not– I mean like– like why? I-It’s not like I’m going to live here.”

Tom furrowed his brow. “I thought we talked about you staying with us back at the hotel.”

“I-I thought you meant like for a night or two! You– you don’t really want me here, do you?” Tails asked.

“Tails, of course we want you here,” Tom moved to be in front of Tails, where he then tilted the fox’s chin so he’d meet his eyes. “You’re a really cool, smart, and compassionate kid who helped save our planet, and Sonic himself especially. Plus Maddie and Sonic already adore you– Knuckles too, for that matter. We all want you here and with us and... and we even want you to be a part of our family, if you’d like.”

Tails looked down at his Electric again, his heart pounding in his chest. The whole reason he was fixing his Electric was so he’d be able to be on his own again– to get out of their hair before they got too annoyed by his quirks or weirded out by his tails, like his entire village (including his parents) had.

But now… Now he was being offered a place to stay? Permanently? What did that mean? Tom said he wanted him to join their family– Tails hadn’t ever really been part of a real family, not like the one Sonic, Tom, and Maddie had– would he even be good at it? What if he messed up? What if they got mad at him? Surely he’d be tossed out, just like he had before. It wouldn’t be worth it. Tails didn’t know how to live with other people, he was a loner, he would just mess it up–

But Tom… Tom liked him. He liked talking to him, he liked hearing him ramble, and he thought Tails had a gift, which was more than anyone back at the village would say. So... So maybe this time, things could… be okay. Maybe this time, Tails could be part of a family. Maybe, if Tails said yes, he could have loving parents, and cool older brothers, and a nice dog, and a house in the woods, and he could be safe, and warm, and loved, and cared for in ways he never even knew.

“Look, I know it’s early, so I understand if you need more time, but know that Maddie, and Sonic, and I care about you, okay? We don’t wan–”

Tom was interrupted by Tails leaping up and hugging him as tight as he could, which he returned once he processed.

“Thank you, Mr. Wachowski, I-I don’t know what to say.” Tails sniffled.

“Don’t worry about it, kiddo. We’re happy to have you here.” Tom hugged him tighter, making him smile because for once in his life, Tails could believe that.

.o0o.

The sleeping fox kit was woken up by Sonic shaking his arm, but all Tails wanted was to go back to his dream, where everything felt so safe and warm…

“Tails, dude, we’re here, wake up.” Sonic shook his arm again.

“H-huh?” Tails looked around to make sure he was right, and lo and behold the helicopter was docked at the hospital, which meant–

Tails jumped out of his seat instantly and started flying; he was so desperate to see if Tom was okay. However, the idea was short lived, as he yelped and fell to the ground before even forming a full two circles.

“Careful, Fox, you have not been aided yet,” Knuckles scolded softly, assisting Sonic in helping Tails up.

“Yeah, slow your roll, Tails; being impatient is my thing.” Sonic grinned.

“Right, yeah, be patient, I know that,” Tails laughed pathetically, finally gaining his footing, making one of the soldiers roll their eyes.

“Follow me,” they said, and the three of them did as they were told. It took four flights of stairs, one elevator ride, and several twists and turns, but finally, Tails, Knuckles, and Sonic were in front of ICU room A931.

There was a moment, a moment where, when Sonic opened the door, Tails closed his eyes and turned away. Sonic had tugged him forward, but Tails wanted to dig his heels in. The weight was pressing harder, begging for him to stop– to stay out in the hallway forever if it meant that he would never have to face–

“Oh my god– Boys!” Maddie cried out, and before Tails knew it, he was running at her full speed while she knelt at the ground, his teammates quickly joining him.

“Oh, my babies– I’m so sorry– I’m so glad you’re here– is everyone alright? I’m so sorry for leaving you like that– oh, you’re all so brave– and so young– I’m so glad you’re all here.” Maddie hugged them tight and planted kisses on each of their heads, her face wet with tears.

“I-it’s okay, Mom, we’re all in one piece, it’s okay,” Sonic replied, nuzzling his face against hers while he started to cry too.

“Our dear Fox has kept us well in check; you should be very proud of his work.” Knuckles nuzzled closer too.

“Oh, good, I was just– I was so scared, and when I saw that– that thing in the sky, I just– I'm so glad you're okay.” Maddie sighed a massive breath of relief.

“N-not... not all of us,” Sonic mumbled, before he dared to look up and away towards the hospital bed (where Tails still couldn't bear a glance).

“D-Dad, how– how is he?” Sonic looked back and forth between him and Maddie, bouncing on his feet.

Maddie sniffled and let go of the hug to wipe her face (though Tails stayed clung tight). “You can hug him, it's okay, just be careful with all the wires and with his left shoulder.”

Sonic nodded, and was at the bed in a blur, though hugged him much slower.

“He… is alive, no?” Knuckles asked softly.

Maddie scratched his head. “He's alive, sweetie. He's just... he's asleep right now… and will be for a while.”

The weight pressed much harder on Tails’ chest, forcing him to cling to Maddie tighter or else burst into tears.

“Oh baby, it's okay. The doctor says his vitals are holding good and strong; he should be okay,” Maddie tried to soothe, but Tails just shook and trembled in her arms.

“Fox, our good Pretzel Woman would not lie to us, our Donut Lord will be well in no time” Knuckles patted Tails’ back, but there was the slightest quiver to his voice that made him feel worse.

“So what’s– what’s wrong with him…?” Sonic asked carefully, his voice low.

Tails could feel Maddie tense before she slowly stood up, thankfully picking him up with her, allowing him to bury his head in her chest and away from the bed.

“W-well… his shoulder is dislocated, and he bonked his head pretty hard in the fall, but the biggest problem is his kidney, right where h-he was– where he– you know.” She looked away to stop herself from crying.

Tails winced, burying his head deeper, but the weight in his chest was crushing him alive, he couldn't stand it anymore, and so he finally peeped a look at Tom and–

He had electroencephalogram stickers on his head, measuring his brain waves onto one of the many screens next to him. He had unusual breathing, starting and stopping at odd intervals, but was probably helped by an oxygen mask. He didn’t move or even twitch at Sonic’s touch, and wasn’t responding to any noise either. His hand and wrist looked slightly swollen, his watch and wedding ring removed and placed on a side table. There was an IV and heart monitor on his right hand, which Sonic was careful to not mess with as he held his hand and sat close. His left arm was in a sling, the disguise now made necessary. His skin was also very pale, not helped by being completely washed out by the pale blues and whites of the room, bedsheets, and hospital gown. He looked awful. If he weren’t asleep, he’d be in so much pain…

“S-so a concussion, a gl-glenohumeral joint dislocation, acute kidney injury, a-and a– a coma?” Tails found he couldn’t peel his eyes away.

The fox felt her startle, and could see her examining him with a mix of pained confusion and pity.

“Y-yeah, that’s… that’s what the doctor said, sweetheart.” She tried to smile, but it just– something about Maddie saying that he was right, that Tom was in a coma, it– it hurt– it hurt more than anything had ever hurt Tails before– the weight on his chest– the weight of his failures finally crashed down on Tails, and the fox let out an agonized sob.

“Tails!” Everyone cried out at once– but Tails ignored it, frantically pushing his way out of Maddie’s arms and attempting to fly straight to the door– only to immediately yelp in pain and fall to the ground. He narrowly avoided Knuckles grabbing hold of his arm, but when he tried to run for the door, Sonic sped right in front of him.

“Tails, what’s going on, bud?” Sonic asked, hands held out in an attempt to soothe.

Tails shook his head. “I-I–”

His eyes went back to Tom, who was still unconscious– completely unaware of what was happening right in front of him– because of Tails– because of his technology–

“I-I’m sorry, okay?!” Tails shouted. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!”

“W-What?” Sonic took a step back. “Tails, it’s not–” “I-It was my plan! It was my tech! I-I should’ve had a safeguard o-or– or something! A-and now it's all my fault that he’s dying a-and– a-and I’m gonna lose one of the first people to ever even care about me,” Tails sobbed, collapsing to his knees.

It took less than a second for arms to wrap around and squeeze him tight.

“I-It’s not your fault, Tails, none of us knew Shadow would be there,” Sonic insisted, eyes clenched tight as he cried too.

A soft hand stroked the top of his head. “Sonic’s right, honey, it’s not your fault. We didn’t kn–”

“B-but I should have!” Tails fought back. “I-I just– if I had a safeguard, o-or some kind of quick cancel, o-or if I used my Electric to track Shadow, I-I coulda stopped him.”

“Fox, your hands were already full from planning our mission and guiding us through obstacles– you have been truly extraordinary today,” Knuckles argued too, but Tails couldn’t have disagreed more.

“I-If I-I h-h-had ju-just– If I had j-just thought for– for five seconds– do the one thing I’m good at for five seconds–” he choked out.

“Tails, baby, that’s not true– you’re so kind and gentle and sweet– you’re so much more than our tech guy,” Maddie insisted, but Tails could barely hear her over the anguish in his head.

“I-If I had just planned like I was supposed to– I-I coulda saved him! B-but now h-he’s– a-and now I have to leave, a-a-and I really don’t wanna– I don’t wanna go back, I don’t wanna.” Tails buried his head in Sonic’s shoulder.

“W-What? Tails– Tails, why– You can’t– w-we– why?” Sonic was at a complete loss for words.

“Tails– Tails, baby, look at me,” Maddie grabbed his right shoulder and lifted his chin. “You aren’t going anywhere, okay?”

Tails shook his head. “B-but–”

“No ‘but’s, honey. You belong here with your family.” Maddie smiled while she cried, wiping away Tails’ tears.

“B-But h-he got hurt cuz of my tech– a-a-aren’t you m-m-mad at me?” Tails hiccuped.

Maddie’s face melted. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m not mad at you,” she cooed, scooping up the fox in her lap. “I’m so proud of you. You’ve done so much today and for our family– I would never, ever want you to leave us.”

“Y-yeah! Besides, it’s not your fault he got hurt, it’s GUN’s,” Sonic added, moving to Maddie’s side where Tails could see him.

Tails sniffled and wiped his eyes. “B-but– but I coulda–”

“You did the best you could, Fox. You should be proud of how well you protected our family and our home,” Knuckles insisted.

“I– I left you behind on the arc– I didn’t– I didn’t even think about what would happen to you– what if you had been there, Knuckles? Wh-what if you– And what if I failed to catch Sonic? I didn’t throw the ring, I just passed out– I failed you guys– all of you.” Tails started shaking again, and Maddie rubbed soothing circles in his back.

“You haven’t failed anyone, Tails. You might have made a mistake or two, but it’s okay because that’s what the rest of us are here for, you know? We take care of each other, that’s what real families do.” She kissed his forehead.

Tails looked at the ground with a sniffle. “S-so… so even– even if he–...”

Maddie took a deep, shaky breath. “Even if– if Tom passed… I’d still want you here because you’re my kid, and I love you so much.” She hugged him tighter. “And I promise you, there is nothing you could possibly do that would make me stop.”

“O-oh…” Tails let out in a low whisper. “I–... thank you, Mrs–” Tails paused, taking a breath, “Mom. Thank you, Mom.” He smiled weakly up at her.

Maddie beamed before hugging him even tighter. “Anytime, baby.”

“Y-yeah! A-and– And I promise too, Tails, I might get annoyed or frustrated sometimes, but I’d never want you to leave. You’re my little brother, and I love you too,” Sonic joined in.

“The same goes for me as well, Fox. While we might not share blood, you’re as much kin to me as you are my friend,” Knuckles added, patting Tails’ back for emphasis.

“I love you guys too,” Tails giggled, before he glanced back at Tom's bed.

Maddie noticed this, of course, and gave the fox a scratch behind the ears. “He loves you too, you know.”

“I know.” Tails’ smile grew before falling slightly. “I just– I hope he'll be okay…”

Maddie let out a long sigh, letting go of Tails so she could wrap her arms around Sonic and Knuckles too. “I know it's scary right now, but it'll all work out, I promise.”

“Our Donut Lord is a strong fighter, for a human. He will overcome this.” Knuckles nodded in agreement, earning him a scratch on the head from Maddie.

Sonic chuckled. “Yeah… and if I know Dad– which, I totally do– then I know that he's not gonna give up without a fight.”

“We'll just… have to wait, in the meantime.” Tails said as he and Maddie exchanged weak smiles.

“Ugh, patience.” Sonic scrunched his face up.

“Good things come to those who wait, Sonic.” Maddie booped his nose before resting her head on Tails’.

“Say that to marathon winners,” Sonic argued.

“Say that to farmers,” Tails countered.

Sonic rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, okay you win that one.”

“As I was saying…” Maddie eyed the two of them. “It might be hard, and it might take a lot of time, but we're gonna get through it together as a team. It might take a long time before things start looking up, but no matter what, we’re in this together as a family. So long as we remember that, everything will work out.”

She hugged Tails tighter and made him smile, because for the second time in his life, he truly believed that.

[tealvenetianmask]

I rewatched the Helluva Boss trailer today and tried something different. Instead of looking for upcoming details or clues about what might happen, I looked for a narrative. I tried to imagine what the editors were thinking as they chose clips (both visual and audio) to include, and why.

I thought that MAYBE in light of having seen two of the episodes (and weeped over them, and analyzed them into the ground) most heavily featured in the trailer, I might learn something from doing this.

My conclusion is *drumroll* that the clips were chosen to introduce problems. AND NOT TELL US ANY OF THE OUTCOMES SO WE WOULD FUCKING SUFFER. Not too different from a movie trailer really.

So there are four main problems set up. Each of them are set up to make us ask questions.

Villains: Oh, what an array. Cherubs, Dhorks, new John Waters villain, Andrealphus, shadowy figures in hoods, Mammon flipping off the camera, etc. We're given very little information about how any of these confrontations will go. We just know there will be conflict/danger.

2. Blitz vs. self: "you always take from those around you . . ." "do you feel any kind of remorse for what you do?" "I make everyone's lives worse." "I don't want to be this way, not forever." One could argue that we've already seen tremendous growth with that last quote appearing in Apology Tour. I think that if I saw this group of quotes together without the context of the episodes so far, I would have assumed it would come last. But I think it's the beginning of a journey. We haven't heard all of these lines yet. And the ones we haven't heard might get closer to the self-loathing Blitz is dealing with than anything we've seen yet. These lines are telling us about a problem- again, the outcome is left blank. How will Blitz transform once he discovers that he wants to change and starts confronting the truly scary things living inside of him.

3. Stolitz: Okay so ALMOST everything in the trailer that has to do with their relationship is from either The Full Moon or Apology Tour. And in retrospect, it was pretty spoiler heavy. Maybe this is my shipper delulu speaking, but I think the writers/editors were okay with the trailer giving this much away from these two episodes BECAUSE these episodes set up the problems with their relationship and do not reveal the outcome.

The problems are ones we knew existed but have now seen tear them apart: Stolas wanting someone to care and Blitz wanting to be respected, the fact that they both love each other and want to be together but each think they're not wanted. Then there's the cruel as fuck framing where the trailer puts together Blitz looking at Stolas in awe and Stolas smiling as if they're in the same moment, only for us to find out in the actual episode that someone else is making Stolas smile.

Anyway, this is all to say that yes, I think that narratively they will get together at or near the end of the season. The trailer tells us that they both love each other despite the problems that are laid out. The solution IS for them to come back together somehow. And the trailer gives us that split second clip of Blitz defending Stolas to . . . I don't know . . . stop heartbroken shippers from rage quitting the show altogether after Apology Tour.

4. Stolas and Octavia: when it comes to the first two episodes in this group, this one has been visible in the show only through Octavia's absence . . . But if we look at the trailer as setting up problems, the problem is clear. "You never loved mother and you don't love me. You love him." Shit is going to hit the fan. And again, we have no idea what the outcome is going to be.

So conclusions?

Trailers are a cool art-form. They have to be narratively cohesive without giving away any outcomes. They have to make us want to see more. They can scare us but they can't be so depressing that they make us give up.

We didn't get random parts of the upcoming story. We got the earlier parts. At least, the earlier parts of each conflict (likely to be spread out somewhat), but please notice that the trailer has told us VERY LITTLE about Mastermind and Sinsmas.

There's very little reassurance in the trailer. It's supposed to be that way. But we do have hints that stolitz will be okay. Trust.

[stitcherofchaos]

Kidnap Fam vs Earendil and Elwing controversy: Regarding the twins

Maybe I’m too practical-minded, but I see a lot of people either supporting or exaggerating kidnap fam, hating it with all their being, or ignoring the whole ‘love grew between them’ to translate into ‘emotional manipulation, hatred, resentment… etc (being anti-canon)’. I’ll respect opinions, frankly, I really could care less about them, but it does get irritating when people throw canon away for the drama (I certainly get annoyed when extreme pro-kidnap fams fans make it all sunshine and rainbows as if it wasn’t a difficult time or situation).

By the way, I can and will say that the twins can feel emotions, they are allowed to do that. Resentment and love can exist at the same time (for only a period of time) but one or the other must fade in order for the other the linger. One has to be consumed in order for the other to burn.

But just a thought, Elrond and Elros could love all of their parents equally, no more, no less than the others. One became a healer and the other, a king, I think they came to understand their foster father(s) and their bio-parents’ decisions.

(Ay maybe I just suck at emotions and all this feelings stuff and have no idea what I’m tolkien about)

And I’m not trying to call out or bash anyone!

I saw (and wanted to share) the quote,

“if your anger burns the furnace in your soul your whole life, you will be forever cold in the grave.”(I’m paraphrasing, I can’t remember the exact quote)

I cannot imagine Elrond or Elros being resentful to the point were they are vicious or unforgiving, whether it was towards Elwing, Eärendil, Maglor, or Maedhros (I really don’t think he was involved too much but if you swing that way).

I don’t want Elros to be cold in his grave, and I certainly don’t want Elrond's fëa to be burning for the rest of his immortal life.

Then I also had the thought, 'if the Fëanorians had never committed the third, worst, kinslaying, then Elwing would have never flown the Silmaril to her husband and they would have never gotten the help of the Valar.'

I personally headcanon that it was Eru’s work at hand to have Maglor raise Elrond and Elros. Think about it, what if they were spoiled in an alternate universe? What if something worse had happened to the twins? What if? What if?

What if they didn't become who they were meant to be if it wasn't for who they were raised by?

By the way, I read LOTR, I know Elrond refers to Eärendil publicly as his father and he makes no mention of Maglor. I analyzed this in three ways. 1.) Elrond must keep (the memory of) Maglor closed off, locked in his heart rather than talking about him more. 2.) It would've caused drama in his realm and in the counsel. 3.) Elrond really doesn't care, his father is his father, that's it. Zip. Maglor raised him, but Maglor is gone now. In a way, Eärendil is more present than Maglor in Elrond's life by the third age. Elrond can physically see the star, but he can't see Maglor.

I see it in the third way mostly. Eärendil is Elrond father, biologically, so why would he do this "My 'real' father" BS? It just seems like a waste of time. Tolkien probably didn't want to confuse anyone since the Silmarillion couldn't be published with LOTR.

Remind me of that quote from Yondu, "He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy." But I really didn't want to refer to that quote considering Peter and Yondu's relationship is not the best example to compare this cluster of daddy issues to. Nevertheless, there is a point to be made in that statement. There is a difference between relation in regard to Nature vs Nurture, and the effects of it.

I guess the whole point of this post is, the fandom tends to take canon lore to the extreme or over analyze things to the point where they're just projecting. Trust me, I've been there, done that. I've learned my lesson (I think) and I wanted to share what I've learned.

Also (this is purely opinion) I don’t think Maglor was manipulative about anything, in the book, he just didn’t come off that way, for as little as he appeared, he actually seemed to be pretty optimistic (*regarding Eärendil) and honest (*the debate with Maedhros). He didn’t try to excuse himself or get the twins to pity him. Maglor raising the twins was out of pity/mercy, yes, but love grew (like what Tolkien said). He probably educated them on the facts and encouraged them to form their own opinions, whether that costed him their love or not. Maglor did have the more accurate moral compass compared to his brothers (in the end of the book!- Put down your pitchforks Maedhros stans!), especially if he knew that the Silmaril was better beyond their reach than where the enemy can also reach it. It was an accurate moral compass, although not a big one.

Argue, agree or disagree, or discuss with me! I want to hear different perspectives or opinions on this matter.

[mtkay13]

The peach blossoms are blooming

Lol @the fancy title, haha. Yesterday I promised "two hoboxu's today!" but I'm an inconsistant liar so the second is today and not yesterday, HAH.

Anyway, another painting of my very beloved; more about this piece below!

So aside of the obvious joke, what I really wanted to work on and represent on this picture is, as the title makes it clearer, grief, and what it looks like for ZZS.

The idea came from imagining ZZS setting off, happy with his disguise, and passing by a peach tree orchards and seeing all the peach blossoms blooming, and what it would entail.

...So let's talk about what TYK is about again, shall we?

(usual caveat: those are my thoughts and interpretations etc etc)

Little is known of the four years that separate the end of QY and the beginning of TYK. Even less is obviously stated when it comes to the reasons why ZZS has put in the nails, besides the obvious "requirement to leave Tian Chuang" part.

So, trying to leave all headcanons and other suppositions aside, and looking at what the text gives us, one of the main "storylines" of ZZS' personal journey across both books seems to be: dealing with the loss of LJX, first of their relationship, and later, of LJX entirely.

>I'm going to boldly announce that (I think) TYK is in great parts a story about getting over grief, or rather, properly living with grief.

Needless to say that it is clear that ZZS has a bunch of issues he's dealing with, including "the void after meeting your goals; what's next?" and some form of burnout from completely over-exerting himself and going way beyond what he thought he could sustain mentally; but also. Four years after he lost LJX, ZZS is still deeply grieving. Still seeing him in crowds, still thinking about him frequently, still hallucinating him, dreaming of him. He couldn't resist taking in ZCL because ZCL reminded him of LJX. Nearly every single thought of his own past ends up rooting back to LJX.

The first time he mentions LJX's name out loud in TYK, chapter 41, is the first time he mentions it at all in four years, and to quote the text:

Speaking out his name hadn't been that big of a deal, in the end; it had only felt like something had been pulled out of his chest—like he was now missing a piece, like it left behind an empty void.

(TYK ch41, TL by me)

The next scene is when it hits ZZS that he's going to die; from that moment on, ZZS starts feeling stupid, ZZS slowly starts wanting to find a solution, influenced by WKX... and the story culminates with ZZS making the opposite decision that he made in QY: instead of risking never seeing WKX alive again, and against WKX's decision, he goes to meet him, unlike LJX whom he was too scared to go meet, and lost forever without even saying goodbye.

>I think that ZZS essentially took the nails because he couldn't manage to live with that grief, basically. (I know, I KNOW there are other reasons, but for the sake of analyzing this theme, I find interesting to look at it from this angle; how the narrative shifts towards ZZS putting in the efforts to stay alive at the exact same times he starts letting go of LJX literally.) And then, as he learns, as he rediscovers life differently, the story becomes about getting free from the nails, about actially living with that grief rather than dying because of it.

*coughs* so, hum, yes. This is what I wanted to represent. What grief looks like, at this stage of melancholic, happy, self-deprecating acceptance of freedom through death—freedom of the burden of grief and guilt. It's a bittersweet feeling, but the way I see it, he smiles out of what he thinks is inner peace, resignation, and once again, self-deprecation.

I would go even deeper, in that ZZS' relationship to death with regards to LJX is quite complex and difficult, given how he was told by LJX himself that he ought to die for what he's done (or misunderstood LJX saying so), but that's a whole other can of worms and I don't have the brain juice to go there again (since it wouldn't even be the first time iirc). SO YEAH, again, grief, but ZZS style: turned into a bit of a melancholic, silly, but gentle joke, and with a smile on the face. On brand with TYK as well.

Cheers!

[atomicradiogirl]

currently thinking about the quotes at the beginning of the pacific scripts

episode 1: “he who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears”

episode 2: “the sun, too, shines into cesspools and is not polluted”

episode 4: “alone, alone, all, all alone, alone on a wide wide sea! and never a saint took pity on my soul in agony”

episode 5: “water, water, everywhere and all the boards did shrink; water, water, everywhere nor any drop to drink. the very deep did rot: o christ! that ever this should be! yea, slimy things did crawl with legs upon the slimy sea. about, about, in reel and rout the death-fires danced at night; the water, like a witch’s oils, burnt geeen, and blue and white”

episode 6: “he who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. and when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you”

like wow. i could analyze these quotes forever but they really encapsulate each episode. i think the episode 6 quote is the whole thesis for the show. and this isn’t even all of them.

[a-lilac-lyric]

 Possible explanations for why King Roland made his first wish on the Wishing Well

Now all of these aren't so much theories per say as “throwing stuff on a wall and seeing what sticks” because the showrunners could not delve into topics like this in the actual runtime, and it probably wouldn't have been very relevant to the story that they were trying to tell anyway, so nearly every theory has an equal likelihood to be true more or less.

  (I'm also not going to mention this in my write ups for the possible reasons for the wish, and we have no way of proving this one way or the other, but I'm always inclined to prefer the thought that Roland II had discussed making the wish with Lorelei before he actually made it since it would be something that would affect both of them. Even if it only physically affected one of them. Because this just seems like the type of thing you should tell your partner about if you do it).

 This is a long post (Over 2000 words), so I'm putting it under the cut, but TLDR there are several different magical and physical reasons that are possible.

 General content warning for discussion of topics that are too dark/medical to ever be shown in a kids show. Spoilers for Forever Royal.

 We should first start off with what the wish was in the first place in case you don't know or need a refresher. Word for word, this is how it's stated in the flashback scene in the episode Forever Royal:

  “In the nearby castle lived King Roland the Second, who had wanted a family so badly he tried making a wish in a wishing well. The wish came true, and twins were born. But the Queen fell gravely ill….* The children were happy but never knew what it was like to have a mother.”

 * The quote never says that she is dead in so many words, but the visual on screen is of the queen arranged on a bed with her eyes closed, holding flowers. There's basically no other way to interpret it except that she's been laid out for a funeral.

 Now, as a note, we never actually get to hear what her name is in the show, but the creator of the show Craig Gerber made a Twitter post saying that her name was Lorelei https://x.com/CraigGerber_/status/1038831208430370817?mx=2 (as a personal note I normally consider stuff that show creators or writers say on Twitter or other social media as secondary Canon, but I basically completely accept this because we don't have any alternative name, and it works. And I'm sure that they'd use it in the sequel series if they ever talk about her.) So I'm going to be referring to her with that name for the rest of this post.

 When analyzing this quote, it seems that “wanted a family” basically means “wanted to have biological children” since we know he already has a wife and family members like a sister and a mom. I just think it's interesting that they word it this way because it kind of masks what his actual wording would have been to the wishing well. Because in the episode “When you wish upon a well” the well did grant Amber’s second wish in a way that fulfilled the basic criteria of her wish, and yet caused an unintended side effect that deeply distressed Amber and put Sofia in danger. So, it could possibly be that the way Roland wished for children could also be interpreted as accidentally directly causing Lorelei’s death. But we don't know what the words were, so we don't know if that was what happened or not. “Fell gravely ill” is a vague enough statement that it can basically be interpreted to fit any kind of theory.

 So without further ado, here are almost all of the ways I could think of that could be motivation for making the wish. (AKA infertility theories.)

Magical reasons:

 In this world, magic is an everyday fact of life, so they could have been unable to have kids because of a curse! Now it could be a curse on either Roland or Lorelei, and then the curse was just too strong to be broken by regular magic, but the Well’s magic was strong enough to get past it, (permanently or temporarily). The possible motives could be basically anything. It could have been cast by a jealous ex-lover, or a person who thought that the union was bad for political reasons.

 But I did come up with a fun little theory that maybe it was a curse that was intended to be benevolent, behold: The Double Bloodline Curse!

 We know that the throne of Enchancia passes from oldest child to oldest child, and the same seems to be true for the royal wizard as well. Both lines are hereditary, and both are always parallel to each other. It makes sure that the reigning monarch always has a royal wizard and vice versa. But it is interesting because Roland the First and Goodwin the Great are approximately the same age, same with both of their sons, and both of their granddaughters to an extent, although the age difference is seemingly larger between Amber and Calista.

 Now this could be just a coincidence that the people in these families born for 3 generations are very close in age, but what if it wasn't? What if there was some kind of spell or curse set on the people from both bloodlines so that they wouldn't be able to have children until their counterpart(s) was/(were) also in a position to be able to have children. Let's say that Roland the Second married and tried to have kids, but both Cedric and Cordelia were not married or seeing anyone and/or just neither of them were interested in having children at that time. Therefore, the curse activated to prevent Roland II from having any children.

 And this curse was probably put on the line by an actual royal wizard from it, assuming that it would be better off for both families and the sake of the kingdom if the new monarch and the new wizard were always peers age wise so that they could both ascend to their positions at the same time. Is that flawed reasoning and ultimately going to hurt their families more than help them in the long run? Absolutely! But it wouldn't be the craziest or worst thing that someone from either of these families has done.

 It's definitely possible for it to be magical reasons and would be interesting to explore in fanfic, but this isn't the only possibility.

Biological reasons that are linked to infertility:

 The first one is what if Lorelei was unable to biologically have children.

 It's popular fan-cannon (and I have seen it used in several fan fictions), that Lorelei was too physically weak for her body to/she had some kind of physical condition that meant she couldn't bear children. But the wish overrode that condition and after giving birth she was so weak that whatever possible illness/birth complications/regular pregnancy recovery happened afterwards she wasn't strong enough to survive it.

 In my opinion this one seems plausible, but I personally do not like it and do not think it makes sense for the characters. If she seemed medically unfit to give birth before the wish, then it would be ludicrously irresponsible for Roland II to make a wish for her to have the kids that didn't also strengthen her in a way that she could have them and survive. Additionally, I believe that if there was a lot of worry throughout the pregnancy that she might not be able to survive it, that Roland would have just made a second wish for her to be strong enough.

 Some may argue that it wouldn't have been possible to strengthen her enough to be able to survive giving birth, but may I point out that the wishing well has the ability to turn a regular human girl into a cat. Like literally change your species. Strengthening someone enough so that they can survive a pregnancy seems pretty minor compared to turning someone into a cat.

 And Roland is normally pretty good at noticing when people he loves are in distress, he'll stop what he's doing and talk with them and try to make the situation better. Now if Lorelei was hiding her physical symptoms from everyone for whatever reason, it could be possible to do that with others especially servants who she didn't spend much time with, but considering how much time Roland spends with Miranda he probably spent the same amount of time with his first wife. If they were in close proximity to each other that often for months on end he would notice if something was wrong and ask her about it and try to solve the problem. Therefore, I personally don't subscribe to it in my own headcanons.

 Another interpretation of this is that Lorelei was the one who is unable to have children, but it was because of some type of condition that was not due to weakness but another type of biological factor(s). The wish allowed her to have the kids, but then she died because the Well directly took her life as a price for the wish/because of how the wish was worded. Or she just happened to get unlucky and die from one of the several medical reasons that a person can die from giving birth no matter their physical strength. It's pretty similar to the first one but I am much more inclined towards it.

 But what if Roland was the one who was biologically unable to have children?

 This one doesn't seem to be explored in any fan fictions I've seen but I think this one is interesting to consider as well. I think most people's reasoning is that if Lorelei died from the wish, then the wish must have just physically affected her and therefore cause [wish] equals effect [death], but if it was going to take her life as a price/consequence for the wish anyway, it may not have necessarily needed to have affected her physically at all. Or the Well never took her life at all, she just got really unlucky and died from random chance. And there's plenty of medical reasons that men can be unable to have children. We don't know what kind of medical knowledge they have in Enchancia, but it may not have been advanced enough to find a solution for Roland or even know that he was the one who was infertile.

 He could have caught an illness as a child that had adult infertility as a side effect (angst potential. If he was also isolated for a long period of time away from other kids this could also partially explain why he became estranged from Cedric). Or it could be a genetic reason, like being intersex (I say as I read that one of the most common noticeable effects of Klinefelter syndrome is being tall. And it would fulfill a certain letter for possible LGBTQIA+ headcannons). Or he could have been severely overworking and under eating (there are a few times in the show where he does this, albeit not to a self-destructive extent, and that’s after he’s had kids and been king for years, also angst potential).

 If this was true, then it could also be possible that he was only temporarily able to have kids depending on how the wish worked. Or depending on the wording of the wish he might only be able the have kids with Lorelei exclusively. So if he and Miranda wanted to make a kid together, they might not be able to (more angst), unless another wish was made (but I doubt he would risk it).

 And a really dark possibility for Roland being infertile is that maybe the wish did NOT make him fertile but instead had a, what I am going to describe as a “love potion” effect on Lorelei and she got pregnant from someone who was not Roland. Now I think that this possibility is really horrifying for a number of reasons, but I've never seen it used in a fanfiction before and I'm not sure if anyone else has ever thought of it, but it exists now. I say that Amber and James do look like Roland, but I would also say that they definitely look more like Lorelei than him, so if you wanted to do a horrifying big drama fanfic this is a possibility for that.

Biological/other reasons that are not infertility:

 But what if their trouble with having children wasn't linked to infertility?

 There is the possibility that Royal Prep/other schools they had gone to had such a terrible sex education class that neither of them knew how to get pregnant and at this point were too afraid to ask. So they wished for it instead. I think this one only works if you're going for an adult humor fanfiction because, this just seems really unlikely to me. Even if they hadn't been educated in school, they would probably still ask someone or have been told by someone or have read it in a book by this point. Especially since part of their job as ruling monarchs is to produce heirs, I'm sure someone in the court would have explained it to them if they didn't know.

 Another slightly more reasonable but still unlikely reason is that maybe one or both of them was asexual. So they needed another way to start the pregnancy and decided magic was a good way to do it. I feel like if this was true then they could have just solved this by going to an actual wizard or doctor and getting help from them, so I don't think this is very likely but I'm trying to go through all the possibilities here.

 But on a far more serious note there as been a possibility I've been thinking about lately that does seem likely considering how often it happens in real life. It could be possible that Roland and Lorelei had already tried to have children, and she was able to get pregnant, but it ended in a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Maybe she was already pregnant by the time Roland made the wish, and he wished that this time it would be a successful pregnancy. The way he looks in the flashback makes it seem like Roland is really sad and kind of desperate about the whole situation and if this possibility was true, then it adds an extra layer of sadness to the whole ordeal.

 ****Also, this isn't attached to any single theory but I wanted to add this: I think that whether the wish caused Lorelei’s death or she died from completely natural causes, it must have happened fairly quickly. If the illness that she got after giving birth lasted a long time, then wouldn't there have been enough time for Roland to have made another wish to save her? Meanwhile if it happened very quickly or without much warning then he may not have had enough time to save her. If it happened quickly, it would also mean that there was less of a chance for the doctors or midwives or sorcerers to do anything to save her.

 *****And regardless of whether it actually was the magic of the wish that killed her or it was from the same causes that any non magical birth can suffer from, I think Roland believes that it was his fault that Lorelei died. He probably doesn't know for sure whether it was the wish that did it or not, but that wouldn't matter if he felt like it was his fault. His exact words to Amber about it were: “My wish didn't turn out so well either.” But we know that he loves Amber and James, and he's very proud of them, so the quote isn't about being a father to them or their existence. So the only other possibility for him saying that it didn't turn out well is what happened to Lorelei.

On that note, those are all the reasons I could think of. Feel free to say in the reblogs or comments which one you think is most likely and/or which one is your favorite. Here's a cookie for getting to the end of this post 🍪

[kwop-kilawtley]

Bella’s depression months/suicidal tendencies/ hallucinations in New Moon are not “romantic,” sorry. It’s just horrible how traumatized she is. Imagine being a 17 y/o girl who never dated anyone and the first person you date is a mythical creature who essentially is the idea of perfection. It knocks down your self esteem even more, makes you feel embarrassed for not being enough and then after you almost died at the hands of others of his kind, he leaves. Leaves you for dead.

How is it romantic that she now sees no worth in her own humanity? That she deems life useless without him. Then Jacob comes along and makes her see life can be good again. She falls in love with Jacob naturally and effortlessly. If Edward and Bella were truly “fated” and “meant to be,” Bella wouldn’t be so in love with Jacob the way that she is. Jacob is the only person who truly understands her and he would do anything for her. He would protect her and keep her alive.

Bella choosing Edward is literally suicide and allows her to be stunted, to not fix her self esteem issues. Yet this is supposed to be romantic somehow?? The text literally leads you to believe that Bella will grow and get out of her depression with the help of Jacob. And he totally could have because she could’ve been open about the vampire secret since he knew about them too. It only makes sense in my mind she chose him. She actually has fun with him, he understands her personality better than Edward, understands her mind better than Edward. Their love is so intense that she even says she may have actually chosen Jacob if she hadn’t known what losing Edward felt like. She was so deeply traumatized by him leaving she couldn’t even bear the thought of having to heal. But she almost did. She could have.

The fact Bella cannot let Jacob go all throughout Eclipse even after Edward comes back is proof that she’s not fated to be with Edward. Literally no matter how many times I read these books I will never see it that way even though her narrative wants you to believe that in the end. Like sorry but having cutesy quotes and ogling over his physical perfection every second without there really being true reason behind it, just doesn’t hit for me. They were together for mere months and she’s already talking about “I want to be with you forever.” Like yeah that was me in high school too with the first person who ever gave me attention. I didn’t know any better tho. Now pair that with someone who literally hypnotizes humans lol.. yeah she didn’t stand a chance. Yet her lack of autonomy is romantic? Gross. She even says “it’s like Sam & Emily, I never had a choice.” How does anyone find this romantic LMAO.

If Bella had no feelings for Jacob and he had no good aspects of him and he wasn’t trying to keep Bella alive the whole goddamn time then no one would be for Jacob. But she literally is in love with him, it’s just not “magical” bullshit love. Which doesn’t even make sense for her btw. She doesn’t have any development whatsoever. Vampirism is just her bandaid and Jacob and the entire wolfpack are done dirty.

She tries to die and hear voices of her ex who abandoned her yet that’s romantic lmfao. New moon is legit based off of Romeo & Juliet, a tragedy where they both die. Bella & Edward simply shouldn’t have had a happy ending. Naturally it doesn’t make sense that they do, which is why breaking dawn is such a shit show. Because their relationship just doesn’t make sense and only harms them and everyone around them.

& before anyones like “it’s just a fantasy stop analyzing it wahh” no <3 these books shaped my way of viewing relationships as a teenager and it should be talked about how harmful some of the messages in the series are.

[tartagluvr]

the soft sound of a sorcerer

unfortunately my flavor of autism is music and association to it. every song i listen to has to have a connection for me personally to a time, place, person, etc. fortunately though that gives me endless creative writing ideas :D since beginning nightbringer, a lot has screamed solomon at me. i wanted to share the songs so *drops this on your doorstep and runs

warnings: me being an autistic fuck and over analyzing a fictional otome game character like babe get a life its been five years

word count: 937

immortal human; solomon, the wise

- nova amor; state lines

"are you sure, did you call? did we ever really talk, i don't know." / "i've been awake in every state line, dying to make this last us a lifetime. trying to shake that its all on an incline."

i can't really rationalize my solomon association with this one, listen to it on your own and see for yourself if you feel as i do. as an accidentally immortal being, solomon has been everywhere and all at once. he knows pasts, presents, even futures that have not a thing to do with him. he hasn't yearned to lose his immortality once until meeting you, desperate to hold onto you forever.

- lana del rey ft father john misty; let the light in

"cuz i love to love to love to love you, i hate to hate to hate to hate you." / "i need to need to need to need you."

this one is less of a lyrical association and more of a feeling. something about the chords and melody line make me think of the sorcerer. especially the minor harmony in the chorus, and over all the post production of the vocals as well. the reverb has got to be either long hall or church, the way it rings in your ears unlike studio does. yes i'm insane

- wolf larsen; if i be wrong

"what if i'm wrong, what if i've lied? what if i've dragged you here, to my own dark night?" / "ten thousand cars, ten thousand trains. there are ten thousand roads to run away. but i am not lost, i am not found. i am not dylan's wife, not cohen's hound." / "if there is a will, there is a way. i will escape for sure, i am david blaine."

there is something so carnally nb!solomon about the lyrics of this song, which is why i quoted so many of them. to me, nb!solomon is terrified he has made a wrong decision in following you to the past. it terrifies him that he so quickly chose to break time just for you, no matter the consequences. no matter if he loses his immortality, becomes stuck, passes on. he has lived so many lives and yet the only one that matters anymore is the one he wants with you. goodness me solomon.

- hozier; unknown/nth

"do you know i could break beneath the weight, of the goodness love i still carry for you? that i'd walk so far just to take, the injury of finally knowing you." / "you know it's more than being unknown. and there are some people love who are better unknown."

i don't think this one requires me to add any notes :3

- adrianne lenker; anything

"i don't want to be the owner of your fantasy, i just want to be a part of your family. and i don't wanna talk about anything, i don't wanna talk about anything." / "weren't we the stars in heaven? weren't we the salt in the sea?" / "dragon in the new warm mountain, didn't you believe in me?"

a gentle reminder that solomon is still at core a human. he has human emotions, feelings, yearnings. something about this song is so domestic and nostalgic to me, like how i imagine flicking through the pages of solomon's life would feel. its a bittersweet hug wrapped in acoustic notes.

- ethel cain; sun bleached flies

"god loves you, but not enough to save you. so i said fine, cause thats how my daddy raised me." / if they strike once, then you just hit them twice as hard. but in the end, if i bend under the weight that they gave me, then this heart would break and fall as twice as far." / "i forgive it all as it comes back to me."

thinking a lot about solomon before he became a sorcerer. thinking about his family, where he came from, how long gone that all is now. barbatos taking him in and raising him not out of love yet also not out of spite. i wonder a lot if he still remembers what it was like to be just human. perhaps he has forgotten by now, and time is the only one to blame. he just takes the punches with a smile and runs on.

-nicole dollanganger; angels of porn II

"my hair is falling out again and i don't really care, i try to stir my conscience it was never really there." / everything is fine in heaven, but i'll never get to know." / "soak all my clothes in holy water, and drown them like a crying son."

okay please hear me out on this one i know this song is a bit out there but its always on repeat for me. please there is something solomon in this song to me. don't crucify me i know i'm onto something here

- trixie mattel; the well

"loving's just a name for saving face, and running's just the way i won the race." / "no i won't come running at the ringing of the bell, no you don't throw wishes to the well." / beneath the neon moon, i'm in the light. tell me, do i ever cross your mind?"

swear this one isn't solomon associated just because it talks about running more than once. to me it reads like solomon speaking to mc, and feeling like he is always second to the demon brothers. he wants to be the one by your side before anyone else gets there, but he is always too late. so he just keeps running, from witches, from his past, from you.

-

that would be all for now :3 i love recommending music to my loved ones and crafting personalized playlists based off lyricism and overall vibes. i have a handful of songs that i associate with each demon brother as well and will probably end up yapping on my page about them sometime in the future. thanks for reading !! feel free to pretty please send me your solomon songs, or just obey me songs in general. <3 -tete

[dykewallpaper]

i want to talk about how armand hunts (this post is inspired by something i saw on twitter by @danielarmands about armand lulling daniel (season 2.05 spoilers obviously)):

when daniel asks louis how armand hunts louis says he looks for criminals and then seeks out those “half in love with easeful death”

this is actually a quote from “Ode to a Nightingale” by Keats, and it’s such an ingenious reference oh my god

now i’m going to preface this by saying i have not thoroughly analyzed the full poem. I had the in love with easeful death part memorized so when louis said it i got very excited

the poem is about a person musing about his wish for death that was started when he heard a nightingale singing in the trees (nightingales are usually used as symbols of love and beauty)

now the full quote louis references is:

“for many a time/ I have been half in love with easeful Death,/ Call'd him soft names in many a mused rhyme,/ To take into the air my quiet breath;/ Now more than ever seems it rich to die,/ To cease upon the midnight with no pain,/ While thou art pouring forth thy soul abroad/ In such an ecstasy!”

if you don’t want to read all that, basically he’s saying “i think about death all the time, now I think it’d be great to die while you’re [the nightingale] singing so lovely”

by choosing those in love with easeful death, armand is putting himself in the position of the nightingale. by becoming this comforting presence, symbolic of love and beauty while leading his victims gently by the hand, he finally feels like he’s doing some good in the world, not because he chose someone who was suicidal, but because he’s loved and made the process easier with his siren’s call

but also, the narrator mentions that he had attempted suicide and he expresses this via sound “called [death] by many a mused rhyme.” by associating the wish for death with sound, it also implicates the nightingale who does nothing but sing in the poem.

the victim is not alone in wanting that embrace of death, armand is also enchanted by the idea of slowly fading away into a painless sleep. this is why he hunts the way he does, it brings him such a thrill to know that he could possibly live in this moment forever, loved and painless and beautiful and worth something

[fertabranche]

Trying to list off the r1999 references I can find.

I’m only doing the very beginning in this post so I think it’s a lot of things people already know, but if I don’t do this in order I will simply perish so here we go

Prologue : This is Tomorrow

Part One : Rock 'n' Roll Radio

• This Is Tomorrow

The prologue title is a reference to a contemporary art exhibition that took place in 1956. From what I understand, its purpose was to update the definition of art by challenging the prejudices of the institutions of the time, for instance by using pop culture symbols, this kind of stuff. It would later be regarded as the precursor of the British Pop Art movement, one of the main aesthetic movements of the 60s, which is therefore also relevant in the prologue.

I’ve already written a post about this, but I feel like this title choice is more than an artistic reference, it also makes sense thematically. Later on in the chapter, the Sixties are described as such:

Thanks to our 20/20 hindsight vision we know this is meant to be read in a tragic irony kind of way. The title reads the same to me: there will never be a tomorrow long enough for progress to take root in a world where the Storm is still raging, and in that sense the game began painting that picture here.

• Rock 'n' Roll Radio

This is the title of the prologue's first part. I think it’s named after the song "Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio?" (1980) by the Ramones. From what I understand, it’s as much of a love letter to rock music from the era Regulus was from as it is a warning about the threat nostalgia can pose to creativity.

Once again, it kind of reads as tragic irony given how it’s the second time they’ve been in the 60s. This is worse than nostalgia they’re literally stuck in the past lmao.

The Great Gatsby

Now that the titles are out of the way: the story opens up with the last lines from The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. The game does not include the first sentence of the quote, but I’ve chosen to use a slightly longer version here because that’s how it makes the most sense to me.

Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter-tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther.... And one fine morning——

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

I have not read the book, so I’m not fully confident trying to analyze it, but from what I understand, the green light is a motif throughout the novel that symbolizes longing. (Or the American Dream, but I don’t think that line of interpretation is terribly relevant in the prologue.)

To be super brief and include as little spoilers as possible, the book tells the story of a man named Gatsby, who grew up in poverty and decided to reinvent himself as a rich man in hope of winning back over a woman he once loved. Though he is known to throw lavish parties, one of the key points of the novel is apparently when the narrator finds him outside of one, staring across the bay at a green light coming from the end of that woman’s deck. This obsession eventually ends in tragedy.

As highlighted in the end quote, this is the story of a man forever stuck in the present, between a past he can never forget nor escape, and an illusionary future he can never quite reach. Just like with the other two references, I think R1999 is quoting this half literally, since the characters share similar issues with the flow of time, but like, for real this time.

What I do find interesting here is that from what I could research, I don’t think the quote is meant to be read as a wholly nihilistic take on the purpose of the human condition? There’s also a little bit of an implied admiration for the resilience synonymous with such cyclicality.

And I do find that sense of neutrality kind of accurate to the vibe of the game? Life sucks, but they beat on quite beautifully, don’t they? :,)

Newton Street

Granted this one may be a reach, but I do find it a little too convenient that we meet Mr.Apple on Newton Street of all places. I could write an entire other post on the references to Isaac Newton in his profile, but since that aspect of his character has never been discussed in the main story, I don’t think it’s relevant here.

Regulus’ Record Collection

In the first part, we get two peeks into her record collection. I don’t think they are all meant to be real records, and it’s kind of way too pixelated to see anyway, but I’m pretty sure I see Please Please Me (1963) and perhaps Rubber Soul (1965) by the Beatles on the right side of her office, though I might just be losing it from staring at pixels for too long.

On the wall of the other picture, I think there’s Please Please Me again, My Generation (1965) by The Who, December’s Children (1965) by The Rolling Stones, and potentially an upside down Aladdin Sane by David Bowie even though it was only released in 1973?

If anyone has caught more, I’d be super interested to know :]

Sixties Fashion

Another area I’m definitely not an expert in, so take everything with a grain of salt but I unfortunately cannot shut my mouth.

Idk how much I should source this, but basically, Regulus’ clothes are super inspired by the fashion trends of the Sixties. For example, from what I’ve read, one of the most popular looks of the era for women was what was apparently called a mini dress with "go go boots" (low heeled mid calf white boots), which is pretty much what she’s wearing right? Similarly, the 60s were apparently the era where sunglasses truly became fashion accessories, as it’s when plastic became more mainstream to use than metal, which allowed a lot more freedom of design.

I also read a bunch of articles to try to see if her accessories had any historical significance: this article on chiffon scarves throughout history explains they were mainly used in the 60s to "coordinate with an outfit", but could have bold prints, just like hers does. This one on knee high socks in the 60s, says that they apparently became quite popular because of the mini dresses, in order to still provide coverage. This one was about the newsboy cap, which was apparently very trendy amongst young women back then. And finally, this one explains that backpacks became popular among young people in the sixties, as it’s around when they were modernized for day to day use by becoming smaller and lighter.

I did fail to identify what kind of jackets she is wearing though, it kind of looks like some kind of motorbike jacket on the left and perhaps a type of rain coat on the right? In which case, both were popular at the time as motorbikes were an integral part of the counter culture of the era, and raincoats were apparently a fashion trend for women back then.

Radio Pirate

I feel like this is a pretty well known fact by now but I’m including it in order to be thorough: there is a historical reason as to why Regulus is calling herself a pirate.

In the Sixties, the growing interest for pop and rock music was not catered to by the official radio stations just yet, so what we call "pirate radios" started broadcasting it from offshore ships. This was technically not illegal as they were in international waters, but was still kind of frowned upon because they didn’t observe copyrights law and stuff like that?

And that’s exactly what Regulus is doing when the Manus attacks her in the prologue.

Okay that’s it for this part. I’ll cover part 2 in another post if I have the energy, hope I didn’t make mistakes o777

[waateeystein]

Okay y'all I'm doing it, I'm once again analyzing an out-of-context picture from Guillermo De Toro's Frankenstein movie! I am now donning on my "grad student studying scenography" hat lets fucking go!

First off, What are the giant green vats? Is there a significance to having two of them, what step of the creation process are they related to, what's the deal here??? Everything else I can kind of see what the inspiration or reference is, but these green vats are running a big blank for me. I don't immediately hate them, I'm just mostly curious. They are certainly a vibe!

The next thing that is immediately striking is the massive window, and I'm kind of obsessed with it! From the Vanity Fair article we get this very relevant quote from Del Toro, "Gothic romance was born partially out of the fascination with ruins - Sometimes they’re more beautiful than the building complete because it’s the clash of creation and destruction." We have this beautiful gothic-style window contrasting the massive abandoned structure it seems to be inside of. The architecture of it all reminds me of gothic cathedrals, and I don't want to make a call yet on whether or not Victor has set up shop in an abandoned cathedral or church, but I do think that would be funny if it was the case. A bit of extra research taught me that they did use the Glasgow Cathedral as a filming location, I'm unsure if it was specifically for this scene, but it definitely gives us a sense of direction as far as inspirations for the production design.

What is confusing me about the architecture is the metal grates on the ground. It makes me think sewer grate or basement drainage, but the massive window directly next to it says very high above ground, so I don't know what going on with where exactly in the building we are. It makes sense to have it here from a practical "I have a bunch of oozy body parts on ice in here and those juices need somewhere to go" perspective. Idk, it looks neat and it might just be a suspense of disbelief moment.

Speaking of those oozy bodies, holy shit body parts! I honestly didn't fully process the giant piles of flesh on my first viewing of this picture, but damn those are fucking great! It really puts into perspective the sheer amount of matter that Victor would need to make his creation (I mean look at the blood on those sleeves), and how messy that process is. I feel like a lot of adaptations I've seen don't lean into that gorey aspect of the story, so I really appreciate that they are doing that here. I'm especially a fan of the giant ice block cooling what seems to be a head and torso, I don't know who got that big ass hunk of ice on that table but I'm impressed. The set dressing overall is really fucking impressive and is super effective, I really could dive into the details forever!

There are also a lot of big mechanical things happening here, like the massive wheels by the windows for instance. I'm not sure what these are or what they say about the original usage of the space, I was trying to search for what these might be, but because my personal knowledge on this is very limited, I have no clue what to even search to find more information on them. If anyone has any hints for me I'd appreciate some direction! The other mechanical thing we see is the table that the creature is laying on. Looking at the way it's attached to the ground, and the block at the creature's feet, I'm guessing this table tilts upwards to bring the creature to a full standing position.

On the creature himself, I think this was our first look at the creature design! I am cautiously optimistic about this design, but really I think I need to see his face to make a final call on how positive or negative I personally feel about it. This movie, from all evidence I've seen, seems to have a lot of influence from the 1931 James Whale film, in addition to Mary Shelley's original story. This creature seems to be more closely aligned to the book description, but again I don't think we see enough of him here to make a full judgement call on that. At least he's not green!

Overall, this first look is really cool, I'm really excited to see what production designer Tamara Deverell, set decorator Shane Vieau and costume designer Kate Hawley do with Del Toro's direction! This wasn't the deepest analysis ever, it's hard to do it justice when we know so little and everything we do have is out of context. But I'm excited to get more production photos eventually!

[manytoonepoet13]

Fragaria Memories - Ever Red Visual Analysis Essay

"I still remember, the sun, the memories, and the lack of guidance, shown in this cross section of this red pieces/fragment. Truth/reality, even in time, you can't take it away. Forever certain, this is something I will not forget."

(Duration of Analysis: December 2023 - April 2024).

A. Wiki (Intro Tab: Overview of the story section).

The mains of each bouquet is shown through little fragments with the colour of their respectively bouquet. Though, note that Cielomort and Badobarm's fragments are showcasing their entire face, this shows that they're a whole, complete, untouched by the corruption of the anxiety brought by the seeds.

Now, look at Hallritt's fragment, a part of his face is cut-off right across the surface of his fragment, "Cross section of this piece/fragment". His purity - something so precious to him was taken away, not only that, but it was reversed. He was reversed, giving birth to his alter-ego, this evil Hallritt. Additionally, the part that was taken out matches perfectly with the "evil" part shown in the mv - this being a little clue for what is to come.

B. Music Video (Analyzing frames that feel important).

From what I've noticed while watching the mv, it has this margin that maintained throughout the mv, which is rather reminiscent of a camera, befitting the line "I still remember", 0:55, that would pop up along the intro. The connection here is that he's recalling these memories as if he was watching them through an old videotape. Though since his and his friend's memories don't align, it felt like an error in his mind (think of a movie where you told your friend about a certain scene and they disregard it, saying that it didn't happen in the movie and told you about a completely different scene instead), therefore causing the glitches we frequently see in the mv.

Another connection to the glitches is this shot of the Fragaria crest with impeccable lighting, I may add, making everything look oh so great before the "camera fell" and the lenses shattered (shown in various scenes throughout the mv but it's more prominent in this scene), the everything became lone, corrupted and gray, 1:05 - 1:11.

Who was holding the camera you might ask? Hallritt. After all, the ones who get to hold the camera are those who get to tell the story (quote pointed out by my best friend).

This is due to the reason that 1.) This is Hallritt's pov and he's the main character and 2.) He's too optimistic - Merold, 2024.

He's always excited whenever he's given the chance to help, he's passionate about fulfilling his duty that it feels like his joy and love for his job and the people around him is overflowing. This is why he's holding the camera, the one who got to tell the story. The one who caused all of this.

The next scene needed to be taken into account is the overlapping clocks 1:28 - this may symbolizes the, as the name suggests, overlapping of timelines. - As we know, there are two separate timelines, told by the voice dramas and the songs. The latter somewhat foreshadowing what happened in the past timeline.

Other than that, I have a feeling that maybe, just maybe, there might be a timeloop in Fragaria.

Now, why do I think there's a possible timeloop?

CLOCKS. While yes, the clocks may mean that time has passed and they can no longer turn it back, they could also mean that they are running out of time before the loop restarts.

I'll assume that it's the seeds' corruption on Hallritt that allowed this timeloop to start. And this aligns with the seeds' form of corruption as well, anxiety.

This timeloop theory is more on a figurative and psychological sense rather than a literal and physical one. This will be in relation as to how Hallritt was feeling upon being corrupted.

Since the seeds bring anxiety, I believe we should take a look at that. -Many people have repetitive anxious "thoughts" that trigger fear responses and believe they will never be able to get rid of them. - AnxietyCentre.com. "Can't take it away." "I still remember."

This is where the timeloop theory comes into play:

Hallritt's been corrupted, and is now having these anxious thoughts (memories), about causing the destruction during the first timeline. And now in the current timeline, he's once again having these thoughts because he still remembers what he has done, and while he's trying to make a change, he's also anxiously counting down the minutes until it's gonna happen again.

When corruption shall resurface.

After all, the current world is already corrupted, shown in this close up of the Fragaria crest now rusty (shown in various clips). The knowledge and sight of this may be Hallritt's trigger, causing him to have a fear response.

That response being the glitched out image of him and his friends, 3:29, that paired with the margin, makes it look like an actual videotape that one could watch (as pointed out earlier). This may contribute to the next scene where the words "Live in memories" appear, as well as when the color of the background went from, red to white, the red again, only for the transition to take place (which looks like the opening and closing of the eyes, most probably Hallritt's), switching to white once more, then a blur, then gray, with each of the other knights' crest orbiting around Hallritt's before disappearing one by one.

What I would like to pay attention to is the thing is, despite Merold's crest being flashed first, his crest disappeared last, giving the impression that he knows something. Given that earlier, 1:27, him and hallritt were together in the middle of the line "Can't take it away". Other than that, later on, 2:43, he transitioned from his usual color palette to black and white. (Your Melody may give us some insights as to what that may be).

The transition from red, to white then black represents how Hallritt vies the current timeline, how every was so vibrant, rendered to black and white. (This, I believe, is where his repetitive, anxious thoughts is shown).

Other than that, my bestfriend also pointed out that the mv is basically just red, gray, then glitch and repeat, which gives way to the timeloop theory pointed out earlier.

I would also like to point out that in the second timeline, it's not Hallritt that is corrupting the world, it's the world that's corrupting Hallritt. Let me explain; the overlapping of timelines I've mentioned earlier plays here: It is because of that fact why the seeds are still having power over the world, why the Fragarian crest is already rusty, because despite the fact that the timeline restarted, the overlapping caused it to be corrupted by default, further triggering Hallritt's thoughts, leading him to think this will only last until the "end" of time.

"Ever Last".

He can never forget it, he will always be tied down by the ribbon's hold as if he was on a leash, bring everyone down with him, 3:42 - 3:45.

But he doesn't want that, no.

He doesn't want to hurt people, especially since it was all his fault, because of his "lack of guidance".

So he'll just glitch himself out of the picture, just so he'll not cause any more problems, 3:49. After all, that's what he is, right? A glitch?

But if there is one that's certain, "this is something I will never forget".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The knights ask for nothing in return for their love."

[ispeacetoomuchtoaskfor]

On the Subject of Susan

I'm going to be a little blunt and my words may seem antagonistic here. But no hate, please. I'm just trying to analyze and provide my analysis based on the very simple facts. Now.

I've never quite understood the anger at C. S. Lewis for how he ended Susan's tale. Mainly, I suppose, because I had the whole story.

Everyone gets angry that Susan is "banned from Narnia" because she likes lipstick and nylon stockings and being a teenage girl in the 1940s, but no one seems to understand that that's not quite how it went, much less that Susan still has a chance.

Let me work backwards a moment and explain the latter. You see, to quote Lewis himself, in a letter to a girl called Marcela in 1955,

"...Haven’t you noticed in the two you have read that she is rather fond of being too grownup? I am sorry to say that side of her got stronger and she forgot about Narnia... ...She is left alive in this world at the end, having been turned into a rather silly, conceited young woman. But there is plenty of time for her to mend, and perhaps she will get to Aslan’s country in the end—in her own way. I think that whatever she had seen in Narnia she could (if she was the sort that wanted to) persuade herself, as she grew up, that it was ‘all nonsense’”

Now, there's a lot to unpack here, but first and foremost, my point is quite simple. "Perhaps she will get to Aslan's country in the end-in her own way." It was always meant to be open ended, for Susan. Narnia is not forever closed to her, unless you and she choose so.

"But Peace!" I can hear you saying, "There's that whole 'too fond of being grownup' phrase!" Why yes, yes there is, how clever of you to notice. The whole point of the latter portion of Susan's arc is that she chose that- lipstick and nylons and "being grownup"- over Narnia. She grew and she chose to forget Narnia.

After all, what sort of modern teenage girl (in England, during WW2) would be so interested in medieval times and what they probably explained to their friends to be a good old game of pretend? No, no, she can't remember Narnia right now - she's going to the cinema with a few girl friends, she's going to a party, she's focusing on everything but there and inevitably, after pushing it away for so long, Narnia let her be.

You see, C. S. Lewis was a very Arminian (and yes, I spelled it correctly) Christian theologian. And while I'm sure most of you here on this hellsite would like to ignore that, it is relevant to how Lewis wrote his fiction. After all, it's at the core of his basic beliefs, despite his being a staunch atheist in college and into his adulthood, and despite what you may like to think, it crept into his writing even when he did not intend it. For example, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is called an allegory for the story of the Resurrection, despite Lewis' arguments to the contrary. He insisted that it be seen as what it is, very heavy symbolism. Very heavily used Christian symbolism, that is all over the Chronicles whether you like it or not.

Let me explain why this is relevant to Susan, what Arminianism even is, and how that term applies here. Susan is, so to speak, a symbol of an atheist left behind, after all of the Christians she called family died. In a situation where you regard Christianity as true, she is left on Earth while they have gone on to heaven. And this doesn't mean that the gates of heaven are closed to her, quite to the contrary! They would be closed on the day she died insisting that Jesus Christ was not Lord, plain and simple. She has a choice to make, so long as she is alive.

Now, to Calvinist theologians and Christians, Susan never had a choice. Either Aslan, the God symbol here, chose to bring her in, or he didn't. Calvinists believe in a thing called predestination, the concept that every believer that would ever be brought to heaven is chosen specifically by God. Arminianism declares the opposite. It's a whole thing in Christian theological circles, but that's irrelevant to this discussion. In any case, the core of Arminianism is that you and I have a choice in whether or not we believe in God, and in whether or not we go to heaven.

To an Arminian theologian, God, or Aslan in this symbolic case, can influence our choice, Susan's choice, up to a point. Once we reach that point, once Susan forgets, God, or Aslan, steps back. He accepts our choice, allows Susan to forget. It's up to us, up to Susan after that.

Lewis was an Arminian theologian. He made the point, repeatedly, in his theological works, about people having a choice.

He repeats that point with Susan.

One last thing, before you go. You see, there was another letter about Susan, after The Last Battle was released. He'd been asked if he ever intended to finish Susan's story.

This was his answer.

“I could not write that story myself. Not that I have no hope of Susan’s ever getting to Aslan’s country; but because I have a feeling that the story of her journey would be longer and more like a grown-up novel than I wanted to write. But I may be mistaken. Why not try it yourself?”

Well, my people? Now that you've heard what I had to say (and say through quite the essay, my apologies), why not? Go, do what you do and tell her story for yourself. The author has encouraged fanfiction, so go on! And don't worry about Christianity and symbolism too much. It may help you understand how and why Lewis wrote what he did, but unless you're determined to have your tale in his style and overlapping seamlessly with canon, it's unnecessary. Unless you choose to make it a part of your life, you don't have to be concerned about it.

Feel free to ask questions, and I'll answer to the best of my ability, with Google by my side!

Also, I nearly forgot. There are absolutely other problems with Susan being the last of her family, left alone in the aftermath of WW2. This is not the place to talk about those, however, merely to help you understand why she "is no longer a friend of Narnia" and to remind you that there's always hope.

Oh, and besides that, don't forget that I'm talking about the books and not the movies thank you very much, while The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was absolutely perfect to canon the other two were not and I'm not going to consider them in this post. I do appreciate them, but when dealing with book canon they're both nos.

[got-ticket-to-ride]

When I first got into the Beatles, I had absolutely no clue about them other than that they sang yellow submarine and come together. So I had no pre conceived notions about Paul or John or any of the boys. But when I started watching interviews and the movies and just all together learning more about them, I could literally sense right away that something was between them. So I thought to myself “is it just me ?” , “am I weird for thinking this?” Turns out there is a whole fandom dedicated to them lol. But I do find it interesting that people back then didn’t see or speculate about them, such as the older fans like your mother. Why do you think that is ? Maybe because people didn’t have the ability to rewatch and analyze videos and comments like we do know idk

I knew them as the moptops in the suits who sang "I want to hold your hand" and "Love Me Do" then moved their genre to something more like "Strawberry Fields Forever", they were like these faceless musicians for me. I wasn't that interested in their history, just their music was so innovative and beautiful! Finding out about Mclennon, the drugs and wild orgies was an eye opening experience. Boy, I felt like I missed my whole life not reading about them. I have so much to catch up on.

I definitely think it's how we consume media today. They mostly only had newspaper and the TV (and their neighbour) who were reporting the same stuff. No forums, no room for speculation. Nowadays, everything is more readily available. We can rewatch all their interviews, piece together quotes from different biographies, there's tons of blogs out there dedicated to Mclennon, my mother wouldn't have had access to this goldmine in the 60s. Also of course, the negative aspect of it, you can still see people from that generation denying homosexuality despite blatant evidence today.

Cheerio Anon, what's your thoughts on Mclennon, did they, were they, have they?

[twothpaste]

hey can i get uhhh 25 for claus please 🎤 🎤🎤 🎤

HIYA DANA

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

When I first played Mother 3 I cried about him. I've done like 5 playthroughs since, and cried about him every time. My actual very first impression of Claus was some fanart of him dying in Lucas' arms, which I encountered in someone's signature banner on an old Pokemon forum in like 2008 - as you & I know, that's just the kinda shit we all did back then! Some of his last words were quoted on it, basically spoiled the entire game in one fell swoop. I was so mystified & captivated by this image that it lived rent free in my head for a few years until I finally played the game myself. Being spoiled had no bearing on the immersion or emotional impact. I still got my brains irreconcilably scrambled, and have been suffering from Long COVID-Clausteen ever since.

For a while I was blackpilled like "ok there's not actually much in the game itself to go off of, Claus is more a piece of symbolism & extension of Lucas' internal turmoil than a whole character in his own right, also he has to stay dead, otherwise it's disrespecting the story," and I was so fucking wrong on all counts. The shit going on between the lines with this kid is like The Bible 2. Ancient Greek philosophers could not begin to unpack the layers of grief and trauma and hope and love and allegory that Mr Itoi packed into this fucked up little redneck child. He is endlessly fun & fascinating to pick apart and analyze and deconstruct and reconstruct, almost like a cybernetic chimera or something, or maybe a model dinosaur, idk. If you make him twenty he becomes the funniest sweetest saddest guy of all time. If you make him thirty I need to go take a walk about it. Why is his hair orange. I didn't ask for blxrpy (nonbinary form of blorpy) but now I'm stuck with him forever. His full name is Doctor Claus Jackson "Billy Dinner" Westwood Motherthree and I should probably take him out back and shoot him already before the situation grows any more dire (read: I will never do this).